So… I haven’t written in so long.

I hate to admit it, but Jack has been so wonderful that I have nothing to complain about… It’s actually a good thing, but damn you Jack, you’re messing up my blog! lol     just kidding!

Seriously though, Jack and I have been in the honeymoon period for the past 3 months. It only took us a year in a half but we are finally at the stage of our relationship where we can laugh in the middle of an argument and time our complaints perfectly, so no one blows up at the other one.

For some freak reason, i thought of the last serious guy i dated before Jack and I thought to myself. What a weirdo!

uh, i hate even thinking about this guy. But see he seemed perfect from the outside. every girls ideal bf. He was cool cause he knew a lot about music. He was interesting because he knew a lot about the arts. He took interest in his looked and had a good sense of fashion. He was able to gossip and just got how girls worked. He was sensitive with his attention to details and he let himself be vulnerable by willing to share his secrets with me (like his secret love for Jewel, I’m talking about the music, her poetry and her) …  the guy was the biggest wuss I’ve ever known.

almost 2 years we were on and off. Yeah he seemed great but he was such a coward that he could never break up with me. or admit he did not like me, he just liked the sex. At least I don’t have to guess with my asshole boyfriend. I know where he stands and I don’t have to torture myself for not seeing “the signs”. The douchebag told me he liked me, had sex with me, but would never give me the title of “girlfriend”

ahhh… i love my asshole boyfriend! lol

1. “My Asshole Boyfriend makes me laugh!” If only I recorded half the things my boyfriend says… I often tell him that he would make a great stand up comedian. Just like Chris Rock, Dennis Leary, Seinfeld and Dane Cook, Jack just says exactly what is on his mind. I find all the time I’ve been with Jack, I noticed I’m not the only one, everyone can’t wait to see what will come out of his mouth next. Going out with Jack = Roaring laughs from the crowd.

2. “My Asshole Boyfriend lets out my inner asshole.” Let’s face it ladies we wouldn’t date assholes, unless we didn’t understand their behavior. I think I am an asshole myself, the other day I couldn’t stop cracking up because I saw a women trip on a moving walkway (a flat escalator) and watched her pass by me lying flat on her back. Jack appreciated my warped humor. Yeah… maybe I’m an asshole too lol

3. “My Asshole Boyfriend makes me feel like a woman” No I”m not Aretha Franklin lol, but I’ll tell you there’s nothing like having a man display you as his most prized possession. I know it sounds superficial, but if an asshole can share his spotlight for even 30 seconds. Take it!

4. “My Asshole Boyfriend is full of adventures.” Yes, I won’t lie, I LOVE bad boys. I always have. With all my whining, I have to admit Jack is always keeping me surprised. I’ve never been into conventional guys, and Jack’s defiant ways makes me realize that it’s okay to step outside of the box. Let’s face it good guys are BORING. Jack and I will do whatever we want whenever we want, which just leads to fun! Fun! Fun!

5. “My Asshole Boyfriend is really cute.” Okay, this has nothing to do with being an asshole what so ever but I gotta say, Jack can always win me over with those boyish eyes and that charming smile… Sometimes Miss Libido can make good decisions lol

I was gonna put my last reason as, “Dating an asshole means dating a macho man” – and that he will always stand up for me/us. That he protects me,that his assholeness can be used for good, not evil… but number 5 was too good to pass up.

On a side note: I came back from vacation to some interesting messages and realized I lost track of the reason why I even started this site… I really wanted to share the funny outcomes of “Dating an Asshole”, but with every relationship there is some bad.

So yes, I do bitch every once in a while (I am a woman), but my boyfriend, as clueless as he can be, doesn’t beat me, cheat on me, steal from me or put me in any danger. If I was in any danger at any time, I wouldn’t put up with an ounce of it, no matter who the guys is.

I do really appreciate the ladies who stepped up and cared for me, I know you all mean well! And trust me, if Jack and I ever break up, I will be the first one to say “you were right”

I don’t know why I’ get so annoyed when jack is being a selfish jerk. I mean I have a WHOLE blog based on the fact that Jack is an asshole.

And I partly blame myself, perhaps I’ve tried so hard to be a good girlfriend to him that I let a lot of his bad behavior go unmentioned.

So, what has jack done today?

Well, they are petty things but I feel like they signify much bigger things….

Act#1

After the gym the other day we headed home. We each took our own car, because I went to the gym straight from work and Jack (who works from home) came to the gym from home.

So I followed him in my car and noticed he veered left instead of right. Clearly he was going to the liquor store. So I thought perhaps he would ask me if I wanted anything, but of course not.

It was silly of me to expect him to thing of me.

However the day before (after a day of work, gym, grocery shopping, walking and feeding the dog) Jack had one thing to say to me “I wish you told me you went to the market, I wanted some beer”.

And what I hate about this, is I DID feel guilty for not thinking of him!!

But what’s really fucked up, is while I feel guilty, these standards are not expected from Jack!!

I’ve spoiled him rotten. He can sit back and complain I don’t do certain things for him anymore, but I can’t complain because he’s never done anything for me anyway.

He will only twist it around, that he has not changed and I shouldn’t expect this from him.

Act #2

Jack being the caring and loving bf, that he is. *sarcasm*

Suggested I start dieting to lose weight,  I listened because he’s right I could use to shed a couple of pounds.

So what does jack do while I do my low carb diet?

He decides to cook 20 pounds of stir fry. Now Jack NEVER cooks, but one day he decided to cook for 3 hours to make weeks worth of food for himself. That I can’t have. Because he doesn’t cook, he asked for my help, which of course I did help him.

But what’s fucked up is that the other day I bought myself low-carb food to have for my dinner and guess who eats half of it?

While he has his months and  months worth of delicious food, that I can’t have because of my diet, he decided to eat the food I bought.

I buy food for the week and he eats half of it. He buys months worth of food and tell me I can’t have any because I’m on a diet.

I realize these are petty things, but what do they signify to me?

1. He holds a different standard of expectation for me and not for himself. While I try to be the best girlfriend, he could care less about being a good boyfriend to me. While I give and give, and care. He will take, take and be selfish.
2. He has no sympathy for me and he doesn’t care about me. He is not intentionally mean, but on a larger scale, he frankly doesn’t give a shit about my happiness. He is perfectly okay with me being miserable. When he is hungover and too tired to come out to breakfast with our friends, I will bring him back ( with out him asking) a breakfast sandwich and a coffee while he is in bed. When I’m cranky and trying hard to lose weight, he will suggest we go eat beer and pizza.

My boyfriend is an asshole and these petty things are starting to take over the bigger picture. As much as I love him, I can’t be with someone who doesn’t care about my happiness. I am not that selfish, I care too much for others and perhaps I should find someone like me.

The problem is I can’t even tell him these things, because he will just manipulate them into how I am too emotional, too dramatic, too critical…

But I am who I am. Shouldn’t I be able to be myself in a relationship?

So, there has been a weird transformation over Jack ever since Valentine’s day…

Nothing eventful happened on that particular weekend, we just went out for dinner, drinks and dancing. But recently Jack has been so attentive, caring and thoughtful.

Instead of sneaking away to make himself breakfast while I sleep in, he actually asks “would you like breakfast?”

Ignoring me when I come home from work, not getting out of his chair or looking at me when I step in the door has turned into… a long smile and arms reaching out for a hug.

What used to be quiet meals where Jack scarfed down his food and walked out the door with out saying a word…is recently filled with cuddling and giggling in front of friends at dinner…(as much as I hate those couples, it is really cute…)

Instead of yelling at me the morning when I want to cuddle, I see Jack’s sleepy eyes looking at me and smiling “Oh my Mimi…”

Ok, What have you done with my  boyfriend?!

Could I have become completely immuned to his Assholeness? Could I have joined the league of Assholes and become one of them?

What is going on with Jack?! Trust me I’m not complaining, I should enjoy it while it lasts.

POST VDAY JACK AWESOME!!!

Dating an asshole, is like dating a child. Don’t expect him to be grateful when you  do something nice for him, don’t expect him to do anything nice for  you and don’t expect him to be happy when good things happen to you.

He really has limited sight, he has no parepherals, unless something effects him directly… he doesn’t care.

I got a promotion this week. I was just ooozing with glee, so excited… I came home just giddy and smiley. Jack turns around from his computer (no he didn’t even have the courtesy to stand…), he said “hi”.

After I texted him my good news, it still register for him. Then we stepped outside for a cigarette. I tell him about all the positive things my future boss had to say about me and Jack responded about his business…

What I found sad, is I called it. I told one of my coworkers about my news and she replied “Did you tell Jack yet?”

I said “no”. She said ” Think he’s gonna be excited for you?” Me -”probably not”

It is really sad that my boyfriend of 27 has the maturity of a 7 year old, and not the good kind either. My asshole boyfriend’s sensitivity is equivalent to a 7 year old BRAT and my drunk asshole boyfriend is the equivalent of taking care of 1 year old….

Is it really pathetic, I have to be happy for myself? I have to tell my bf what to do…”take me out for drinks for my promotion”, “make hotel reservations for valentine’s day”, “try to be happy when good things happen to me”…

Yep, it’s pathetic. Dating this asshole is pathetic.

I came home tonight to my sick boyfriend.

Poor guy has as cold, has chills and body aches. I asked him if he wanted anything and gave him some hugs  and such.

He said he took some ibuprofen and will probably be better tomorrow….

So, I proceed to tell him how nervous I am about my big interview tomorrow and I will need to prep tonight.

What does the asshole reply? “let’s watch a movie. My tummy hurts…”

and back to talking about Jack.

So fuck the fact I am applying for another job, that I’m nervous and feeling under prepared. You would think my boyfriend or any human being would give me words of encouragement. I mean, I understand he’s sick… and I tried tending to him, but when does he tend to me?!
He’s not deathly ill, he’s not puking or sniffling… and says he’ll be better tomorrow.

I say I”m nervous and want to study for my interview in the morning and he asks me what DVD I want to watch tonight. It’s just always about Jack, my asshole boyfriend.

I hate my boyfriend. His selfishness has actually ruined our sex life.

Like any good girlfriend. I do as he says, I wear the trashy clothes he picks out for me in bed and do the kinky things he’s into, to turn him on. He gets so orgasms while I sit waiting for the next time I get mine..but it has yet to come (no punt intended)

I’m pretty easy to satisfy, I’ve explained to him what turns him on, he replies “okay, I’ll try. Next time I’ll do it”

Well bullshit, I feel just like his sex slave and I really don’t think it’s fair.

To be quite honest he is not the best I’ve ever had, actually I’m not sure why I’ve ever allowed him back in my bed. I think it must’ve been desperation…

I’ve tried to tell him  nicely that I just don’t orgasm with him and this is what I need… but I really don’t think he cares. Cause if he did he would do something right?

I am so frustrated with this that I cry everytime I think of our sex life. Then he complains i’m being irrational, and frantic. This is what will happen to girl with out proper sex for over a year…

Is it really worth dating an asshole, when the sex sux?

I have a cute little Shith-Tzu named Molly. I love my dog so much, she and I have been through so much. My best friend Julia once told me I took better care of Molly than I do of myself.

Naturally I would think whoever I’m dating would realize how much Molly means to me and would try to at least get along with her. Not Jack.

Jack is not an “animal lover”. Now that I think about it, Jack doesn’t like any living things… people, dogs, cats, animals in general, he hates nature and plants… Yeah he is an asshole.

When we first started going out he used to HATE Molly. I would find her locked in the bathroom or odd rooms, which there’s no way she locked herself in those places, I mean she’s 10 pounds…

I would wake up in the morning and find her barking and i would go searching everywhere to find her. Then I would ask Jack how she got in there,and he would reply “I have no clue”. I thought perhaps Molly’s strange behaviour had to do with her jealousy of  my new boyfriend…but come to find out Jack was stashing my dog in random rooms of my house to keep to her off the bed and ultimately off of him…

Okay… so I have to admit my boyfriend is no angel. And as much as I try to see the good side of things and add a comical twist to Jack and I’s adventures. It sucks dating an asshole.

All he cares about is himself and he openly admits it. What the hell is wrong with him? I mean he is just so detached from normal human behaviour! He only wants things that benefit him and doesn’t give a shit about anything else.

Let’s bring out the number 1 topic. SEX.

Unfortunately, Jack is HOT. He’s just a good looking guy, smart, funny and at first glance quite a great catch. But when it comes to the sack. He is in it for himself ( of course). He will uncontrollably whip out his dick and expect who ever is around to suck him off. Sorry to be so crude but it’s true.

And when it comes to pleasing the ladies? He doesn’t. A girl is lucky if she can get off before he does. Because if you don’t get yours before him, he won’t wait around or try to please his girlfriend… It’s almost because he’s hot he thinks he can get away with treating girls like shit. No wonder he’s slept with so many girls, I”m guessing most girls couldn’t stand putting up with his selfish bullshit

Why is it acceptable for boys to get off regardless of whether the girls do?!

Today, I had a bad day. I’ve been fighting an awful cold from all the new years festivities and left work early to go to the walk-in clinic. After 2 hours of falling asleep in the waiting room, I finally got sent home with some antibiotics. The doctor didn’t seem particularly worried, so I decided to work the rest of the afternoon from home.

Jack did the nice guy routine and asked if I wanted anything for lunch. He would go and get me lunch. I was quite pleased, so I went ahead and started working in my office. This was noon time…

By 1pm, my stomach started gargling… but Jack’s car is still in the driveway…I’ve dated this asshole long enough to know when it comes to someone else’s needs, he won’t rush. I decided to wait.

2pm rolls around. I am feeling faint and wondering “what the fuck?!”… I’m probably cranky from my low blood sugar but SERIOUSLY. I could’ve gotten my own god damn lunch! I go to his room:

“Jack?” — “What?”

“Are you getting lunch?” — ” Oh, you wanted it right now? I’ll go in 5 minutes babe”

“Yes, please. I haven’t eaten all day.”

3PM…” Jack!” — ” What’s up baby?”

“Seriously? It’s 3 o’clock, you said you were gonna get lunch 3 HOURS ago!”

What kinda of asshole boyfriend makes, his sick girlfriend wait 3 hours to eat?!

My boyfriend is such an asshole! I ended up having to make myself lunch and I learned to never trust Jack’s “nice deeds”. He just cares about himself.